written by Liz Dwyer, Anti-Racist Parent columnist
My seven year-old son is very tall for his age. He’s been in the 90th percentile for height his whole life. He’s also African-American. It seems like in our country, Black + Tall + Male = having to constantly hear, “You better put him in basketball! He could be the next Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan.”
Yes, if you’re a tall, African-American boy, you are destined to be a basketball player.
Never mind that he’d rather spend his time at a science center, and never mind that if you ask him what sport he really wants to play, he’ll tell you football because his grandpa works at Notre Dame.
Even though he could have begun playing in our local sports leagues when he was five, I was reluctant to register him because I didn’t want to feed into the stereotype that the only thing of value in an African-American boy is athletic ability. But, when he turned six he begged to play soccer. I felt a little like I was putting my own baggage about sports and black males onto him, so I signed him up.
No one assumed that he knew how to play at all, and the coaches emphasized that the goal was exposure to the sport. However, I noticed that the performance expectations seemed to be much higher for the Latino boys on his team than it was for him. One Latina mother explained to me that it was because soccer is so much more popular in Latin America. She claimed that Latino fathers give their children soccer balls before they can walk. Clearly, this seemed like questionable stereotyping to me, but I found the sentiment echoed quite frequently by other parents.
When the soccer season came to a close, it only seemed natural to move my son on to the next sport, basketball. He was assigned to a team and it quickly became clear that he was the tallest kid on it. He was also the only black child in the entire division. I can’t begin to tell you how excited his coach was. “Come on over here! You’re going to be our rock star.”
I was immediately irritated. I found myself sitting in the bleachers, watching the first practice and thinking, “That coach only said my son’s a rock star because he thinks that since my boy’s black, he knows how to play.” The truth of the matter was that up till then, my son had only played basketball a couple of times. My husband never played competitive sports so it doesn’t come natural to him to toss a basketball or football around every day. I was a cheerleader, not a basketball player, and quite frankly, his learning to read above grade level has been our top priority, not sports.
The very first game of the season, my son scored three baskets and led his team to victory. Afterwards, the coach gushed about my son, saying, “He’s really got some natural talent there.”
I wanted to ask, “What do you mean ‘natural talent’?” but before I knew it, the coach was talking to another parent.
Even though it feels like black folks are always treated like they’re naturals at sports, dancing, singing, joke-telling and hip-hop, I again asked myself if I was reading too much into such a comment. Was this coach just being complimentary or did he assume that blackness = basketball like everybody else?
As the weeks passed, it became clear that my son was not the best shooter on the team. Making three baskets in the first game was a bit of beginner’s luck. But, one of his Latino teammates managed to hit 80% of his baskets. Instead, because of his height, my son became the king of rebounds. Needless to say, they won every game and my son genuinely enjoyed playing on the team.
This year we were out of town and so we missed soccer registration, but back at the beginning of August, the guy working in the recreation center office made sure to mention that basketball registration would be happening in November.
Again, I found myself wondering, am I only being told this because the guy behind the desk figures a black kid will like basketball more, or does he genuinely not want my son to miss out?
It made me realize that this is one of the most insidious things about racism: It takes a psychological toll on you since you constantly have to turn this stuff over in your head. The vigilance it requires to be sure my son is not being treated in a prejudicial manner gets exhausting. I don’t like having to wonder whether something I’m told or the way my boy is treated is a symptom of either conscious or subconscious racism.
Come to think of it, one of the reasons I like my son’s pediatrician so much is that after checking my son’s vision, the doctor said to him that he has such perfect eyesight that he could be an airline pilot. The doctor never says, “Wow, you’re tall! You should be a ball player!” I wish no one else did either.
Liz Dwyer lives in Los Angeles with her husband of eight years, Elarryo Bolden and her two sons, ages six and three. Her great sense of adventure and desire to learn about diverse cultures took her to Guangzhou, China where she taught English to third and fourth graders, picked up some Mandarin, and managed to get into seven bike accidents. Liz taught in Compton, CA for three years and later worked for national education non-profit Teach For America. Liz has written and reflected on the world around her for the past three years at Los Angelista’s Guide to the Pursuit of Happiness. She’s currently freelance writing and working on her first novel.
Image courtesy of Balakov on Flickr
(antiracistparent)
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers.
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An 81-year-old Chinese man has married a 58 year-old woman he met online, proving that love conquers all… well at least age.
Wu Jieqin, a retired art professor who has spent time in an aged-care home, married Jiang Xiaohui, 23 years younger, in a very special ceremony.
“The Internet doesn’t belong to the young alone. There are no rules against old people seeking love online,” said the professor, who has been using the internet since 1998.
The bride’s parents, aged 85 and 86, were not too happy about their daughter’s choice for a husband at first because they felt he was too old. However, she won them over in the end.
“His voice is very youthful. Not like an 80-year-old and he is very romantic,” said Jiang of her new husband.
The couple met last year after the lonely divorced professor placed an ad on a Chinese website.
He knew he wanted a woman who was younger and was very picky. Over 50 women responded positively to his ad, which a student helped him write, and some were as far away as the US, Australia and the Ukraine!
Wu met several of the women, but nothing clicked until he set sight on his new bride.
Ain’t love grand!
Kudos to the happy couple.
(weirdasianews)
On June 22, 2008, 130 couples gathered in Linshanpi, Taipei, to be married in a mass beach wedding ceremony.
The event was organized by the Taipei County Government and Tourism Agency, in hopes of promoting the local beaches as a great place for a wedding ceremony.
“This place has nice scenery, and it is romantic to get married with so many couples. I am happy,” said bridegroom Chen Chia-hong.
“I like weddings with a relaxing style, and I like beaches,” added bride Kao Ya-ying.
The local government has been sponsoring large weddings since 1970, in a continued effort to keep couples from spending large amounts of money on individual ceremonies.
(weirdasianews)
Last night, my Mac Book Pro became very ill. I had put it on Sleep, then disconnected the flat screen monitor attached to it, moved it to another room, opened it up but nothing appeared on the screen. I could hear the hard drive. I pressed the on/off button and heard it shut down, pressed it again several minutes later to restart it. I heard it restart but nothing appeared on the screen. So I took it to the Apple Store. They performed a few diagnostic tests, then told me they’d have to send it to the repair center. I asked where this repair center was located and the Apple Store guy told me it was in Houston, Texas. Seems like an odd place for a laptop to get repaired. I mean, aren’t there enough people in northern California who can fix a Mac? He claimed a lot of computer repair centers are in the South and Midwest where the humidity is high. Dry air creates a lot of static which is not good when you are repairing electric devices.
So posting will be light this week. I miss my Mac Book Pro and I am writing this on an ancient Dell.
(rosecantine)
Robben Island, the wind-swept site where Nelson Mandela spent so many years in jail, has been home to thousands of lepers and political prisoners. But now it’s struggling to cope with its latest inhabitants — rabbits.
South Africa’s iconic tourist attraction will be closed for the first two weeks in November so authorities can hold a “humane culling program” in a desperate battle against the bunnies.
The precise number of rabbits on Robben Island is unknown, but there are so many they threaten to permanently damage the island’s sensitive vegetation and starve themselves and all other animals, according to Robben Island Museum interim chief executive Seelan Naidoo.
“Immediate action will be taken to avert an ecological crisis on the island,” Naidoo said.
The Society for the Protection of Animals said in the absence of a feasible alternative, it would reluctantly monitor the operation.
“It’s a very unsavory issue to have to be involved with,” society spokeswoman Sarah Scarth said Wednesday. “But having reached this decision, we have a responsibility to make sure it is done in a humane manner.”
State veterinarians, environmentalists and volunteers will coax the rabbits into cages and give them lethal injections. In a gesture to animal rights activists, a small number of rabbits will be sterilized and released back onto the island.
The island just outside Cape Town was once a leper colony, and during South Africa’s apartheid era, a maximum security fortress for political prisoners. Mandela spent 18 of his 27 years in prison there.
Robben Island became a national monument and museum in 1997 and the United Nations declared it as a world heritage site in 1999. It attracts hundreds of visitors each day, all hoping to see the small cell where Mandela, who became South Africa’s first black president, was incarcerated.
It is also a biological treasure trove, hosting about 132 bird species, including the protected black oyster catcher and about 7,000 breeding pairs of African penguins.
In 2006, museum authorities killed nearly 100 wild cats on the island, saying they were an alien species that violated U.N. heritage rules. That made the rabbit population explode.
The rabbits are just the latest problem to batter Robben Island.
Three top managers were suspended in July for alleged financial irregularities and the museum has a large budget deficit. A new tourist ferry has had numerous problems and strong winds and rough seas from June to September caused a high number of boat cancellations.
(Yahoo News)
A couple in rural Cambodia has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared, villagers said Friday.
The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.
“Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted,” she said by phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month.
“He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half,” she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.
She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents’ house nearby.
She said the divorce was prompted by her husband’s jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair.
“He wanted a divorce, and I said, `Let’s divorce,’” she said.
The husband could not be reached for comment.
Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half.
“Local officials tried three times to get them to mend their differences, but the husband would not budge,” Bou Bout said by phone.
(cbsnews)
You expect to see something a little strange from time to time while traveling through Asia, but one establishment has something to really shock you.
Kayabuki, a Japanese tavern in Utsunomiya, recently employed 2 Macaques monkeys to act as waiters. Fuku is 12 years-old and Yat is a young 4 years of age and both seem to enjoy their new work.
Kaoru Otsuka, owner of the tavern, says the 2 monkeys are their household pets, but one day he noticed one of them mimicking a waiter by giving the customer a hot towel in the restaurant.
Mr. Otsuka thought it would be an interesting idea to have them actually serve the customers.
Both monkeys works 2 hours a day, serving drinks and handing customer hot towels.
They don’t seem to mind the work and are happy to do it in exchange for some Edamame (soybeans) from the customers as tip.
The monkey waiters have done such a good job and brought so much business to the restaurant, Mr. Otsuka admits they’re better than his real son at the job.
(weirdAsianNews)
A double-headed tortoise weighing only 17g (6 ounces) was recently found in Wuwei, Anhui Province, China.
Chinese scientists were shocked to discover a rare Mediterranean spur-thighed, two-headed tortoise among a shipment of baby tortoises ordered from a local farm where a worker was said to have bought it from a fisherman some two months ago.
They are currently studying this creature that is in good health and is being cared for by the scientists conducting the research.
Initially worried that the tiny mutant reptile would not survive, their fears have been allayed by the fact that in comparison to its siblings, which are all developing at a steady and very normal rate of growth at their home at the Water World Aquatic Farm in the town of Anhui in eastern China, this little baby is thriving and eating twice as much!
“We got it two weeks ago and it’s growing fast, probably because it can eat twice as fast as the others. It’s very rare to see a turtle with two heads, and we plan to keep it and raise it carefully for future research,” said Jimmy Hu, a Water World spokesman.
Is that old axiom about two heads being better than one really true?
Only time and possibly turtles will tell.
(weirdasianews)
