An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers.
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An 81-year-old Chinese man has married a 58 year-old woman he met online, proving that love conquers all… well at least age.
Wu Jieqin, a retired art professor who has spent time in an aged-care home, married Jiang Xiaohui, 23 years younger, in a very special ceremony.
“The Internet doesn’t belong to the young alone. There are no rules against old people seeking love online,” said the professor, who has been using the internet since 1998.
The bride’s parents, aged 85 and 86, were not too happy about their daughter’s choice for a husband at first because they felt he was too old. However, she won them over in the end.
“His voice is very youthful. Not like an 80-year-old and he is very romantic,” said Jiang of her new husband.
The couple met last year after the lonely divorced professor placed an ad on a Chinese website.
He knew he wanted a woman who was younger and was very picky. Over 50 women responded positively to his ad, which a student helped him write, and some were as far away as the US, Australia and the Ukraine!
Wu met several of the women, but nothing clicked until he set sight on his new bride.
Ain’t love grand!
Kudos to the happy couple.
(weirdasianews)
On June 22, 2008, 130 couples gathered in Linshanpi, Taipei, to be married in a mass beach wedding ceremony.
The event was organized by the Taipei County Government and Tourism Agency, in hopes of promoting the local beaches as a great place for a wedding ceremony.
“This place has nice scenery, and it is romantic to get married with so many couples. I am happy,” said bridegroom Chen Chia-hong.
“I like weddings with a relaxing style, and I like beaches,” added bride Kao Ya-ying.
The local government has been sponsoring large weddings since 1970, in a continued effort to keep couples from spending large amounts of money on individual ceremonies.
(weirdasianews)
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to the coach section since she did not have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.”
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so.”
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.
The pilot replied, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
The Blonde’s Revenge!
A blonde is sitting on a plane waiting for it to depart, when a lawyer-looking guy comes and sits next to her. While she is trying to catch some zzz’s, the guy next to her leans over and says, ‘Do you want to play a game? We’ll ask each other questions and if we don’t know the answer to each others questions, we’ll hand over $5.’
She replies, ‘No thank you, I’d like to get some sleep.’
He says back to her, ‘O.K. I’ll give you $500 (thinking she’s a dumb blonde, he’ll never have to pay), and you only have to pay $5.’ She finally gives in and he asks the first question.
He asks her, ‘What is the distance from the Sun to the Earth?’ She reaches over into her purse, pulls out $5, and hands it to him.
‘Now it’s my turn,’ she says. ‘What is black and white, goes up a hill with three legs and comes back down with four?’
He pulls out his laptop, gets on the Web and no one knows the answer. He gets out his cell phone and calls friends and family, no one knows the answer. He goes back online and emails all his connections, and still, no one knows the answer. After an hour, he finally looks over and taps the blonde on the shoulder to wake her up, and says, ‘You got me. I tried everyone I possibly could and no one knows the answer. Here you go, you deserve the $500.’
She accepts it and says thank you, turns over and goes back to her nap. He looks at her and says, ‘Well, what’s the answer?!’ She reaches into her purse and hands him a $5 bill, turns over and goes back to sleep.
Last night, my Mac Book Pro became very ill. I had put it on Sleep, then disconnected the flat screen monitor attached to it, moved it to another room, opened it up but nothing appeared on the screen. I could hear the hard drive. I pressed the on/off button and heard it shut down, pressed it again several minutes later to restart it. I heard it restart but nothing appeared on the screen. So I took it to the Apple Store. They performed a few diagnostic tests, then told me they’d have to send it to the repair center. I asked where this repair center was located and the Apple Store guy told me it was in Houston, Texas. Seems like an odd place for a laptop to get repaired. I mean, aren’t there enough people in northern California who can fix a Mac? He claimed a lot of computer repair centers are in the South and Midwest where the humidity is high. Dry air creates a lot of static which is not good when you are repairing electric devices.
So posting will be light this week. I miss my Mac Book Pro and I am writing this on an ancient Dell.
(rosecantine)
I’m thousands of words behind in NaNoWriMo, but I can’t concentrate because DUUUUDES! Obama won and hope fills the air even though all of this Pacific Northwest rain is knocking it down and running it down the street and into the gigantic storm drain on the curb in front of our house.
I will hold the Tuesday night moment close to my heart for a very long time.
I should be packing for my trip to daughter’s home in Appleton. I should be cleaning the bedroom: dusting furniture, vacuuming, cleaning the toilet, putting clean laundry away but I am too wrapped up in news reports about who Obama will pick for his staff and why.
Do you think that Sarah Palin really didn’t know that Africa was a continent? An impromptu prayer: Thank you God for protecting us from Sarah Palin. A lot of Your faithful think she was an answer to their prayers, and maybe she is a good and faithful follower of Yours (but if she is, why did she buy all of those expensive clothes? Doesn’t she know that scripture about the little sparrows?) I can clearly see that You knew she needed to serve you quietly in Alaska. Thank you again and again. I mean it. Make sure she stays real quiet okay? We need Your help because some of us don’t think we could take even one more day of that voice.
It won’t stop raining and two more storms are on their way. I don’t think we’ll know when one storm ends and another begins. I’m going to light a fire soon. This kind of night after a long and wet day calls for fire – and coffee. With any luck there’s Kahlua in the house.
Want to: change the sheets, dust the furniture, put the mess away. Put things in drawers, scrub the toilet. Clean the bathroom countertop and the floor. Vacuum. I often list things I want to do and then, feeling satisfied, never do them.
Do you think Joe Lieberman’s days are numbered? Didn’t he recently say he fears for the country if the Democrats got 60 seats in the Senate? Why, yes he did. He certainly did.
Important Goal: By November 15, Etsy will be up and running (and don’t you think it’s about time?). I won’t make cute little zippered bags, I promise. Loads of zippered bags on Etsy. No jewelry either. No doll clothes. Nothing involving tags. No magnets. Well there it is, at least I’ve clarified what won’t be there. No monster dolls either. Not one single zombie or anything made of felted stuff. Nothing knitted, nor anything with googly eyes.
But what will I do? Oh….stuff. Beautiful, happy, sunshine-filled stuff. A wise person told me that if I love it and it speaks to my soul, then it’s worth offering, so I’ll offer and it doesn’t sell, I’ll give it away. I’ll have Twitter polls and winner will win from the spoils.
Time to dust.
(babushkablue)
This was announced by the recently formed UN Presidential Exchange Program (PEP). Kenya was a natural choice for McCain since Barak Obama’s father came from Kenya. It was also judged to be the best country to show off McCain’s skills in cleaning up corruption and reducing taxes to zero (wealthy Kenyans already pay little tax and the poor are too poor to pay). His military skills can come handy on a continent racked by constant wars.
The UN PEP office also announced that Sarah Palin will exchange places with Vladimir Putin (a neighbor she often waves to from her porch). However, PEP later issued a correction saying that due to her poor knowledge of geography Sarah agreed to go only as far as Siberia. Siberian natives were overjoyed, saying that the moose hunting season had just begun. Mr Putin was judged to be too risky for Alaska as it contains mineral resources that the Russian oligarchs might covet. He will be sent instead to Tonga to boost the tourist potential of the flagging, and sinking, island economy.
The North Korean President Kim Jong Il will be sent to run Guantanamo Bay Jail. After a year, he will be locked in with inmates for a night of conflict resolution training.
Arnold Schwarzenegger will go to Pakistan to terminate Osama Bin Laden.
Big Al Greeenspan will be sent to China to ruin the Chinese economy.
French President Sarkozy and the German President Angela Merkel will swap places. Sarkozy was judged to be the best person to improve German cuisine and fashion while Merkel promised to tackle trade unions, slim down overblown French bureaucracy, and impose order on the inevitable student protests.
President Bush will be dispatched to Albania to help run a home for retarded children.
President Clinton will go to the South East Asia as a goodwill ambassador to clean up the sex trade there.
Hilary Clinton will be sent to Saudi Arabia to create at least one crack in the glass ceiling of male dominance there. She will be equipped with a crash helmet.
Italian President Silvio Berlusconi will be sent to India as it was judged to be the only country that would continue on its way, no matter who you sent there.
Note: There will be a video announcement on Youtube and Blip.tv at 5:00pm Tuesday (EST) – Time.
Keywords: McCain, Kenya, UN, Presidential Exchange Program, comedy
(pyotrpatrushev)
