“You look burundian” Vs “Are you a hutu or tutsi ?”
I wish to every Burundian to live once abroad, may it be for a short period . One of the most frustrating thing is to meet a Muzungu who knows Burundi. Who knows all about that civil war which have ravaged Burundi. Are you a hutu or tutsi ? That’s what he is likely to ask when your attention and all your eyes and heart are focussed on that beautiful girl at left, ignoring everybody else around.
If you are a Tutsi, it may be even more irritating. He is likely to pronounce Tutsi in a way it sounds like igitutsi (insult). And if u dare say Yes I m Tutsi and u are as short as me, u will get more questions than a terrorist being interrogated by American police: why u are u not tall, how come those Hutu got crazy and wanted to kill you … If you are like me and I know some are, you won’t even remember to ask for the phone number of the girl before you leave .
An other nightmare is meeting a Japanese girl who have watched Hotel Rwanda, the famous movie about Rwandan genocide. Make a mistake and say u are Tutsi, the next question is weather u will ever go back home and live at home again. Say again yes and u will never get her on the phone one more time. But that has a very quick efficient solution and don’t forget it: say that you were Kenyan before your father or ur mom(whoever comes in mind ) moved to Burundi and that Obama is your cousin. If u say it without hesitating the next step is to take care of the rest. Who said I don’t know how to catch girls ? It’s just because the priest at church said it’s a sin. Do it in that way and the success is granted.
Do I want to say that Hutu feel more better when abroad than Tutsi? It may be true but that’s not what I meant. The only Burundian enjoying the status of having a burundian citizenship when abroad are girls. Yes I mean girls, les Barundikazi. Burundian girl or Umurundikazi is no more no less than beautiful. Burundi means a country with the world most beautiful girls ever. Either one doesn’t know Burundi or he does know that Burundian girls are beautiful. Say that u are having many little sisters and some are planning to visit you in the near future .Especially if u are talking to a Nigerian, your mouth won’t be dry, if the bar has not got a good champagne, u will be kindly and politely invited to switch to that one which has, no matter how expensive it is.
The question is how to make money from this ? Yes I ask money. We have got that gift and we need to make money. What use to have many minerals in Katanga when Katanga people are among the poorest in the world. Does learning that their area is very rich in minerals make them feel happy ? We need to profit from a gift we have got freely. I m not talking about prostitution, I m a Christian. But we shall find an other way.
Don’t think foreigners are looking ahead to date burundian girl. I asked to a friend who have been to Bujumbura if he would like to have a burundian wife. He said no. Why ? I asked. It would be a problem, I know I would be having visitors all the time. He answered.
But think about it and come up with a solution. Any suggestion is welcomed, you can post it as a comment or send me an email at daniel@rugamba.com
Ir. Daniel